Nocturnal Lives

Musings from the mind of Amanda S. Green – Mother, Writer, Possessed by Cats

Those poor kids

There are days I find myself praying this has all been a bad dream. Between the changes in schools where it is more important to make sure our children feel good about themselves than it is to make sure they learn the curriculum to political derangement syndrome (because it exists on both sides of the aisle), I find myself wondering what happened. What happened to the Can Do! spirit of the “Greatest Generation”? What happened to personal integrity and responsibility? What happened to common sense?

Very rarely has an article made me ask those questions as much as this one — and the one that came before it. I am linking to an archived version of the article because, to be honest, I don’t want to give this poor excuse for a mother one more click than necessary. Yes, I said it. She is a poor excuse for a mother. As the mother of a son, I feel for her two sons and what she is not only teaching them but doing to them.

Here is a woman who begins by calling her sons “strong and compassionate”. Then she goes on to describe how much they aren’t and how badly they have disappointed her. Oh, she tries to cloak it with maternal concern but it is there. This is a woman who wanted daughters and didn’t get them. The fact her sons have penises make them bad from the moment of birth. It is up to them to prove to her they aren’t like every other man.

Poor kids.

I have two sons. They are strong and compassionate—the kind of boys other parents are glad to meet when their daughters bring them home for dinner. They are good boys, in the ways good boys are, but they are not safe boys. I’m starting to believe there’s no such thing.

Wow, way to support your kids, Mom. Praise them and then pull the carpet out from under them. They are good but not “safe”. Not that she believes there is such a thing as a safe boy. But wait, maybe she explains why. Surely she explains what a “safe” boy is.

The next paragraph gives us some insight into the mother’s mindset. She is raising her boys in a “rape culture”. Those are her words. Then she goes on to talk about her previous article and how, after it went viral, her boys were suddenly confronted by her words. Their teachers and friends read the article and — gasp — talked about it where her kids could hear.

First of all, she claims she didn’t think her article would garner any real attention. Bullshit. To begin with, she wrote it for The Washington Post. Unless she lives under a rock, she knew she would have potentially thousands of people reading it. But she never thought it would go viral. Bullshit again. The very wording of the article was such that it would inflame in one way or another. I doubt very much she hadn’t hoped for it to go viral and more.

It was one thing to agree to be written about in relative obscurity, and quite another thing to have my words intrude on their daily lives.

Well, duh. Not that she seems to care since — another big DUH! — she is once again writing about her sons in an attempt to justify her position. Poor kids. Mama’s more worried about showing her Woman Card in public than in making sure they are all right.

In the next paragraph, she talks about how her younger son is angry at her. Of course, the son has never said he is. She goes on to say he doesn’t understand why she lumped him together with his older brother in the essay. Of course, he hasn’t said that either I assume. But she knows he is angry and misogynistic. Why? Because he has been visiting conservative websites. “places where he can surround himself with righteous indignation against feminists, and tell himself it’s ungrateful women like me who are the problem.”

Guess what, lady, you are the problem. Not because you’re a feminist. Sorry, Feminist. But because you don’t give a flying fuck about your sons’ emotional welfare. Because you won’t sit down and think before you hit the enter button. You obviously don’t give a damn what your crusade to paint your sons — children you are supposed to love and protect — as evil simply because of their sex. I can only imagine the sort of ridicule you have opened them up to at school and elsewhere. I wouldn’t blame your kids one bit for being “angry” with you.

Hell, lady, I’d be furious and plotting my escape from your grasp as soon as I legally could. I’d even be taking notes and recording everything I could in case there was enough to build a case to bring in CPS to take me away from your sick grasp.

Is it my job as his mother to ensure he feels safe emotionally, no matter what violence he spews?

Once again, she throws out a statement like this — remember her earlier statement about there being no “safe” boys? — without any evidence of what this “violence” might be.

When I hear his voice become defensive, I back off but question whether I’m doing him any favors by allowing his perception of himself to go unchallenged. When I confront him with his own sexism, I question whether I’m pushing too hard and leaving him without an emotional safe space in his home.

Why am I picturing her taking on a passive-aggressive stance where she does anything but back off? If there are any micro-aggressions going on in that home (hell, who am I kidding? Aggressions of any sort), I have a feeling they fall directly at her feet. Dear God, if a child can’t have a safe emotional space in his own home, what hope does he have?

As I said before, I feel for these boys.

As a single mother, I sometimes wonder whether the real problem is that my sons have no role models for the type of men I hope they become.

Thank God. The poor kids have enough to put up with Mommy Dearest.

But when I look around at the men I know, I’m not sure a male partner would fill that hole.

No, because you want to make your sons into daughters and most men, real men, wouldn’t put up with that. They would, however, teach your sons how to be gentlemen who respect women and honor them. But that wouldn’t fit your agenda one bit, would it?

It goes on. Dating is a “necessary evil” because she is starved for adult conversation. I guess she hasn’t figured out that’s what friends are for. You can find friends by joining a church or volunteering, by socializing with people in your neighborhood. But no, you “date” for conversation. Wuh?

Then she comes back to what is blurbed at the top of the article. If feminist men aren’t safe, then what man is? And why? We don’t really know. All she says is this, “But, feminist or not, the men are no different from the men anywhere else….”

What. The. Fuck?

Here is a woman who hates men. She lumps them all together and condemns them simply because they are male. She gives no examples, soft or hard. Then she doesn’t understand why her sons have an issue with what she says. Dear sweet merciful heaven, those kids are so fucked. I can only hope they get out from under her roof as soon as possible.

Keep reading though, just in case your blood pressure hasn’t risen enough. She manages to hit one more hot button for all the right thinking folks out there. She notes that a white person can’t grow up without becoming racist — yep, you read that right. In fact, she said it is “impossible” for a white person to grow up without adopting racist ideas.

But it even gets better. She says her sons and “most” progressive men she knows won’t rape an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. By implication, she means that all non-progressive men and even some progressive men she know WILL rape such a woman. What a sad, sick opinion of people she has.

Here is perhaps the worst thing she says when it comes to her sons: I love my sons, and I love some individual men. It pains me to say that I don’t feel emotionally safe with them, and perhaps never have with a man. . . .

She doesn’t feel “emotionally safe” with her sons?

These are kids. Kids in school She doesn’t claim either of them are abusing her physically or doing anything other than being male. My heart breaks for these boys.

If I had anything to say to them it would be this:

Don’t listen to your mother. You have worth as a person and that worth, or lack of it, isn’t based on your sex. It is based on who you are. Never let anyone denigrate you because of your biological plumbing. And, please, don’t judge all women by what your mother has done to you. Grow up to be loving, caring gentlemen who are proud of yourselves and who respect women. Be your own persons, not the cardboard caricatures your mother is trying to force you to become.

As for the mother, I’d like her to spend a few minutes in the shoes she’s made for her sons. See what life is like for them. Not that it would help. In ten years, she will be wondering why at least one of her sons left home and never talks to her. And no, she will never admit she might have had a hand in it. The cause will be because of the appendage hanging between his legs.

All I can do is think about my son and how proud I am of him. He is a responsible, respectful young man. I think I’ll finish this post and then let him know just that.

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33 Comments

  1. Good Lord. What a vile woman.

    What do you want to bet that within oh, 15 years or so she’ll be complaining that her sons moved to the other side of the country and never communicate with her?

    That is, assuming they don’t kill her first. Maybe we should start a “Bail Money” fund for them right now.

  2. You missed “misandry” as a tag 🙂

  3. Tom

    And yet, some people will say misandry doesn’t really exist.

    • Tom, the ones who do are the ones who see nothing wrong with what that woman — and I use that term loosely — wrote. They see no problem with what she is doing to her sons.

  4. Uncle Lar

    Wish this was a new, rare, and obviously aberrant concept, but I recall many years ago at one of those late night talks cons tend to have where the discussion focused on a story where a female had crash landed on an uninhabited planet. One budding SJW piped up with “well, at least she was free from a constant fear of rape.” Had to have been thirty years ago.
    I too feel for the hell that this woman is putting her sons through. One can only hope that they retain some shred of dignity and self worth in spite of her constant attacks, and that they flee from her influence as soon as humanly possible.

  5. I read both archived articles. Can someone send over some Brain Bleach please.

    “I’m a survivor of rape and sexual abuse.” And? There and hundred, no thousands, of women and men who are survivors. Most do not go full tilt misandric.

    My take; she wanted girls and got boys instead. In retaliation she is mentally and emotionally abusing her sons. I hope they can get away from her and go on to have healthy, normal, relationships in the future.

    • Your reaction was pretty much what mine was. Add in a very unhealthy dose of “I don’t care how my kids feel. My feelz are all that matter” and you have this woman. For the life of me, I can’t wrap my head around why she would write this article if she knew the first one had upset her son. Well, I can. As I said, it is all about her feelz and not about her sons.

  6. She is a seriously demented going onto evil woman! Child abuse to put boys in the room with her!

  7. Worst part of this situation? If the sexes were reversed, a man would be accused of child abuse, and the daughters would be taken away. But Jody Allard will face no such danger. Too, any man would have had his career destroyed by publishing such an article. Not Jody. She will have her pick of college campuses to lecture on. Who would be surprised if she given an “artist-in-residence” at a campus? If she read any of the comments on this post—or others—she’d take them as proof of the inherent sexism of America. She’d also have plenty of liberal bigots defending her. Breitbart was right, culture matters far more than politics.

    • Absolutely. Women like her make me ashamed of my gender.And you are right. Not only would a man writing something like this (with the genders reversed) be widely condemned, he would also be under investigation for abuse. As a female and a proud mother of a son who knows what it means to be a man but also a gentleman, who respects women without giving up his balls to do so, I can’t wait for this trend of trying to emasculate men is over.

  8. Whitney

    If somebody started a gofund page for her boys so they can afford to move out when they are 18 I would contribute.

    I was struck by her writing she has to date so she can have adult conversation also. She is apparently so unpleasant to be around no adult that already knows her will spend any time with her

    • Yep, my thoughts exactly. I pity any man going out with her. Can’t you just imagine the conversation? How long before this woman starts lecturing the man on how evil he is because he held her chair for her? But when the check comes, I bet she expects him to pay for her meal — equality only goes so far.

  9. MIK

    I would not be too sure that this woman would have been any different with daughters. I know that I disappointed my parents in many, many ways; one example is that it took me over 10 years to finish college (not for financial reasons). Not only did my folks never, ever criticize me or make me feel bad, my dad helped me find jobs and they let me do a variety of things till I managed to finish. I sure as hell know they said nothing about their own disappointment to anyone.

    I am not sure this woman would act that way with daughters; to express what she did about her own children reflects someone who does not understand what being a proper parent is. My daughter has disappointed me in some ways; but I do not love her any the less nor would I criticize her about those disappointments. My role now that she is an adult is to encourage her in what she wants to do.

    • First of all, your parents sound like wonderful people. Second, you may be right that this woman would be the same way with daughters. Even if she wasn’t, she would be teaching them to be just like her and that, in many ways, is just as bad.

      • MIK

        They were, thanks. Of course, it has taken their passing for me to recognize how wonderful they were and how much I miss them. That’s why the only piece of advice I think I would ever give a college graduate or anyone heading off into the world on their own for the first time is cherish your parents because you will miss them more than you can know.

        I suppose that that is not advice I would give this woman’s children.

  10. Rick Caird

    Why is it that the most sexist people are feminists? How can anyone complain about sexism, when they ooze sexism from all their pores?

    • The answer is the same as when you ask why only whites can be prejudiced when you see prejudicial behavior aimed at them. Folks don’t want to admit they exhibit the same behavior they are condemning.

  11. CBI

    I may have missed it, but in none of the articles criticizing this woman have there been links to resources for the boys. Perhaps there are none: I don’t know of any.

    • You’ve made a good point. There are probably resources. I didn’t think to check. That is an oversight I won’t make again. Thank you.

  12. I agree with MIK that the woman wouldn’t have been any better off with daughters. She would have taught them to hate men just as she does, and they would live their lives in abject fear that they’re going to be raped at any minute.

    • You are very likely right. All we can do now is hope those boys manage to survive living with her and find someone as a role model who can show them just how warped their mother’s view really is.

  13. Penrod

    Apparently the only adequate men are lesbians.

  14. Abelard Lindsey

    I first saw this on Vox Day’s blog. He had the most appropriate response: She’ll be mystified that her sons hate her and will allow her to die alone to be eaten by her cats.

    Sometimes I really do think karma exists.

  15. The Objective Historian

    Vile and insipid – dangerous combination. I think I understand why. Some women (and men) are so unappealing they are shunned by normal people to whatever extent possible. Their world becomes TV and those who are as unappealing as them. They think that is the world.

  16. bandit08

    Hell, lady, I’d be furious and plotting my escape from your grasp as soon as I legally could.

    Why wait??

    • Honestly, I probably wouldn’t. But then she’d probably have the state bring them home and things would be even worse for the kids.

  17. grayswindir

    “And, please, don’t judge all women by what your mother has done to you.”

    Therein lies the greatest harm. As the mother, she is the archetype for them for her sex, she defines women for them. Their direct experience with her will define them as emotionally abusive, irrational, paranoid, and unloving narcissists devoid of empathy for even their own children. If her friends/associates are like her– they will only reinforce that archetype.
    They can understand that all men aren’t as she describes because, they are male and they know they aren’t. They can immediately reject her distorted views of men just based on themselves. ‘I’m a man, I’m not like that, she’s full of it’. But their most direct experience of women is here daily example. They can’t know that some women are different, no matter how much they intellectually believe it, because that direct experience of her example is incredibly hard to overcome.

    Wow, — ‘Because he has been visiting conservative websites. “places where he can surround himself with righteous indignation against feminists’
    BECAUSE– these sites reflect the reality of what they are experiencing with her. If they went to liberal/feminist sites they’d laugh or shake their heads at flattering depictions of feminists given they contradict the daily insanity they’ve been living with.

    She’s giving all women a bad name for her sons, and that is absolutely unforgivable.

    FWIW- I’m a man.

  18. If I recall correctly, she also wrote in the first – FIRST – article about how one of her sons was at risk for suicide.

    And then she proudly shows the world her filthy laundry.

    What an abhorrent excuse for a parent. Or human being, really.

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